The familiar feeling of dread once again overtook me as we drew near to our spot this afternoon. My stomach started acting up and my chest was pounding. An all too familiar feeling with every instance of pleading in public. I had to face this every time in the past when I went out alone, but now, having my wife beside me was more than enough great comfort. It's perfectly fine to be afraid, as long as you obey in spite of it. And so we prayed. We pleaded for mercy and unction. We parked. And we made our way to the park. I immediately went to look for an enforcer but there was none, and I was directed to the nearest precinct. It is my custom, first of all, to ask permission from any available law enforcement person before I plead in public. In this case, the nearest police district was a good leg stretch away. It was a short but amusing conversation that both of us obviously wanted to end quick. The gentleman was only too pleased to even encourage me by saying "by all m...

This is a small part of a complete sermon by my dear brother Jordan to the church where we hold fellowship with. Touching mostly with the current news of an American pastor and mental health expert, a self-confessed advocate of the LGBT agenda, who committed suicide. The purpose is to identify the sin of worry among the flock early, so it does not come anywhere near the contemplating of suicide. We can employ fancy medical terminologies to describe anxiety, but doing so deals only with the symptom, not the root of the disease: unbelief . The mind is a spiritual thing. It cannot get sick. It can only get influenced. Scripture says we wrestle not against flesh and blood. But in failing to identify the root, because it will hurt our pride, we fail to properly address the enemy. We have not been given the spirit of fear, but we have been given power. So many Christians today live powerless lives. They choose to be paupers instead of availing the riches and glory that can be found in...

It seems surreal to see this before my very eyes. I have been looking at this only on the screen of my laptop, but up to the first day that we dug into the ground ourselves, persistent to prepare the ground to receive the rain we were asking for, unable to find professional help for a week or so; suddenly out of nowhere, a call came. He was a professional mason. Needless to say, our immediate need for somebody who can work on our base properly was answered. That same night he came over to check on the plans I drew, and to discuss settlement. Now the funds are again cut in half. It will go to the workers instead. Yet I have peace in it, and after he left I thanked the Lord. I was determined beforehand not to skimp on the foundation. Father is mindful even of that. I volunteered to drive the workers to and from where we currently lived to where the build would be (16 km) so they won't have to spend money on commuting. We are shouldering that expense on top of their fees. (May ...

God is sovereign. When my son ran away for three nights I did not pray that he might return home, but that God would teach him what he needed to learn from it. When my wife was laboring for 14 hours in the hospital with our first baby and I was left outside waiting and wondering I did not pray for a safe delivery, but that God would give me reason to abound with joy in trusting him though I see not. When I slid into adultery 19 years ago my wife prayed for me to return, but God patiently changed her selfish petition to one of surrender. 14 years was the LORD witness to her pleas and cries. And when finally the fullness of her time in the school of secret prayer came, God then delivered me. When I received an incurable wound in my body because of my sin I did not pray to be healed, but that it should remain with me unhealed all my life, and that it would serve to remind me that I have offended God severely, yet in His mercy He forgave me. When my wife was diagnosed with a bes...

A journal entry on the early morning of June 19th, 2018. A paraphrasing of entries in the Book of Psalms, when my soul was much disquieted from prolonged neglect of intimacy with the Lord. Psalms 42:5  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. To be cast down within me is to magnify my troubles over the LORD and despise His saving hand. It is to say, thou canst not deliver me, thine right hand hast no power. Greater are my troubles than thee. I fill my self with pity, I cannot run with horses, I have made man mine confidence, and my intimacy in the place of secret prayer is empty. I move about my business without regard for thee, I find no pleasure in meditating on your word in the night watches. I would sleep rather for tired is my mind and body. I delight not in Christ as my joy, therefore my reins are consumed within me. But thou hast looked upon thy servant with your lo...

"What are you doing here, Elijah?" The past month or so on many, many nights I while I worked on the plans for the house that I am to build, I can barely keep my eyes open by 3AM. There are instances when I just lay beside my wife tired and fall asleep, unable to even turn off the computer. But plenty still are those nights when my spirit cannot stay silent, and I become guilty before God. Spending the greater part of my time for something so noble as to provide shelter for the family, I was in the process, neglecting my ministry: not to the public proclamation of the word, but towards the Lord himself. Grief-stricken in my soul, I would lay on the cold floor face down worshiping, adoring the Lord for the Holy God that He is till daybreak before my body retires by itself. I do not have any excuse so as to neglect worship. What can I truly give to the Lord that would make Him wonder, or what can I say that would take Him by surprise? What can I conceive in my hea...

After over a month of working at home as a recluse, the design for the house I am planning to build is nearly complete. I just have to add some few outside supports for proving the roof against typhoons. The design has also undergone simulation against earthquakes. But our real security rests in our God, who does as He pleases. Budget constraints have knocked our previous shipping container plans to using just lumber. My years in skateboarding building halfpipes from scratch have been put to good use. I have also anticipated and included space for prayer gatherings and overnight prayer watches with the brethren. There were issues regarding the land Father gave us, but we decided to proceed with the build instead and leave the outcome to God. We will pray in faith and prepare the soil to receive the answer to that faith. If the day should come that the government would tear the house down, then I leave everything to the Lord. I have nothing to be anxious about. Much greater...

This late afternoon labor at one of our fishing holes although yielding apathy also brought about much encouragement, and in the end immense joy. In this small work, we have found that not only does the Lord seek out his sheep, but He also lifts up his children.  We have had numerous occasions where believers from other churches come up to us greatly encouraged by the work. It is such a blessing to us every time this happens. While there are a few who have condemned our preaching as unloving and un-Christ-like, the better instances far outweigh the bad ones. We have noticed that people personally come up to us and quite often, turn back just to ask for a tract upon hearing the message of the gospel. To rely solely on the giving away of tracts and bibles without the proclamation of Christ is to render incomplete and unsatisfying work, at least for me. Too many public preachers offer forgiveness and eternal life, but few offer men Christ. The value of Christ and his fini...

This morning my wife saw the large soursop we have been watching over for weeks now laying on the ground crushed, and immediately I remembered reading a recent article about an American pastor who had a huge following, as he was also a prominent book writer, finally admit he was not (no longer?) a Christian. He went on to sincerely commend the affection and love he received more from the celebrating sodomite community, among others, than the Christians. While the news caused some to react negatively, most were saddened, a few were condemning, but this was to be expected. Not that we are to expect people whom we thought to brethren to fall, but that the times are such that the differences between what is true and what is false is reduced to a mere hairline that is almost invisible, the most grievous offences coming from within Christendom itself, from the very people who shepherd God's own flock. The word of God has already declared in times past. For thus says the LORD of hosts...

God made men for his worship. Yet it is the one thing we know very little of.  We waddle neck deep into so many things for the sake of the kingdom and neglect this one vital privilege by reserving it to a miserable 30 minutes of singing, music and clapping. We are so far from our roots and know nothing of our primary call. I can be many things for God in my own understanding thinking I must do all I can, but if my life is not one of worship, everything is an effort in futility.

Late last year we received notice to vacate the house we have been renting for over five years. Our gracious landlord has finally decided to put it up for sale. Since 1995 we have rented and lived in seven different homes and places, with the children frequently transferring schools accordingly. At the beginning of the year my wife and I have been under the pressure of combing almost five barangays trying to find a new home, talking with different people, visiting different farmlands, (the Lord deeply impressing upon me to look for a place in the middle of a field) and each time we go home dejected. Until two weeks ago, the Lord turned our thoughts to the place where the church we fellowshipped was. A dear sister helped us get in touch with a resident just outside the walls of the village, in the middle of a farm lot, whom we talked with last weekend. All the waiting on the Lord for confirmation finally bore fruit yesterday morning while my wife was in her early morning devotions...

For a long time, this spot has been on our mind. A great place to proclaim the good news of Christ. This was my midway point when I was in High School going home. It is where four major points of Quezon City and Caloocan City meet. From Congressional Avenue, Monumento, Roosevelt Avenue, and going south onwards. The four quarters of this intersection is packed with commuters and vendors, from early morning till late at night. We have often passed by EDSA heading north and looked with deep yearning at the thousands of people on this stretch starting from the far end of the Iglesia Ni Cristo church  (a huge local cult)  all the way to the turn. Thursday is our date night. After grabbing a meal, and a short errand we headed to Roosevelt Avenue, Quezon City and parked at Waltermart on the opposite side and crossed to the other side. After asking permission from the traffic police, the person who oversaw the vehicle lines, and the guards at the establishment, we proceeded ...

A journal entry.  One of the midnight watches on the first week of June. A continuation of my study on Worship. I can find no verse in Scripture wherein people worshipped God sitting down. Absolutely none. What I have read are people falling down to the earth on their faces before God. Yes, even devils did the same. It irritates me that not only have the very children of God lost reverence for the presence of God, they defend the omission, stating that it is outmoded, legalistic, and irrelevant in our day. It can be safely said that people who do so and say so, know only about God, but they have yet to be in the presence of God. To be in the presence of God and discard utmost reverence I cannot understand. We sing about salvation, about blessings, and yes we say long prayers for food and the commencement of any service, but we do not believe we come into the presence of this thrice Holy God when we pray. Just as breathing is the natural reaction of our lungs to air, so worsh...

A journal entry. Late eve of the first week of May. A study on Worship.  I have come up against much opposition both in mind and in spirit when I set my heart to seek the Lord this past month. Moreover pertaining to that sin in the mind that I cursed myself with through my previous ways before I was given life by the Lord. The same despondency forced me to spend long nights away from the comforts of my bed, away from my wife, and instead lie prostrate on the floor with heaviness of heart. Not uttering a word of prayer or request, but desperately beating my mind into submission as the good apostle did say about his body; I struggled in anguish to do nothing and think nothing, but worship before my God. This year has led me to spend more and more time alone in secret prayer, not to say that I have achieved much in doing so, but the more I did, the more God seemed to be farther away. The more I followed him, the more he led me out into the wilderness. The more I called out to him...

Although the past few months have confined me to the house trying to find a means for "tent making" via online jobs, my soul was aching to proclaim the gospel on the streets as I used to. We as a family, have also withdrawn from fellowship for a month so I can reflect more on the gravity and seriousness of speaking in front of the saints, a practice which I would be wise to consider a very grave and solemn matter. I am not a pastor, nor am I educated in the proper means to deliver a sermon, but I would like to believe that, given my lack of knowledge in earthly preparation, I strive towards the filling of the Spirit on my knees instead.  This day found me walking a kilometer from Soler, Santa Cruz to Tutuban Center in Divisoria. This is the go to place in Manila for everything you need, cheap. In the past, you can barely walk straight on this very street as it was filled with vendors and tents of all sorts, which also made it a breeding ground for all kinds of unlawful d...