Snapshots

The LORD has, in His wisdom, been humbling me continually these past months. Time demands has stepped up drastically, that I am having difficulty balancing a 14-hour work pace, public ministry two days a week, house repair and construction, and sleep. The only time I shamefully have for quiet time is the hour before I finally crawl into bed by 6AM so I can again wake up by 9AM to tend to the day's necessities. Often I lay on the floor to worship with a broken spirit that I cannot love the Lord my God as I ought to. Until I fall asleep.

Tired. So very much.

When I was still in the corporate world, at the height of an ongoing project's submission week, (which is the culmination of the past 5 months of working through the day and into the entire night), I get to walk around the neighborhood around 2AM for a break to buy snacks to keep myself awake. My eyes can barely function, my chest painfully heavy, and steps long and lazy. I walk past our company guard sleeping on duty and I keep as quiet as I can to avoid waking him up. I remember looking at him in envy, wishing in my heart if I can only switch places with him. But then again I think to myself that he might probably be thinking of the same thing. He wanted my earnings, I wanted his rest. Man truly does not know what he wants.

I see ministry as the main work, and my earning opportunities, where we get our necessities from, as the sideline. Like the apostle Paul, my tent-making venture so to speak. When I work through the night, frying my brain in the process by depriving myself adequate rest, and needing to preach the next day, the good LORD has never failed to supply my spirit with anointing and fresh wisdom. What great privilege to be surrounded by a great cloud of witness tending to the LORD's vineyard in anticipation of His imminent return. All this and more for His name's sake.