From The Hand of God
After our last public pleading, I immediately fell sick for two days, recuperated for a short while, and felt sick again. This time longer and worse than the previous ailment. Twelve days of rest within rest, yet getting weaker by the day, losing much water, and hyperacidity that feels like a heavy weight is bearing down on my chest. My family was insisting that I be taken to a doctor. But God in His providence provided a kind-hearted doctor from Baguio city (we do not know her), who gave us an online free consultation and even wrote me a prescription so we can buy my medication. When I regained my health, my eldest daughter fell sick with a high fever.
We have experienced much affliction since we transferred to this place. I nearly cut my leg off, my son got hospitalized for tuberculosis meningitis and epilepsy, we all fell sick at times in between - but as the apostle Paul said, these things do not move me. I can declare in all humility, It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn the LORD's statutes. (Psalm 119:71)
It is instinctive for a person to react defensively against pain. When you are being pummeled, you raise your arms in defense to cover yourself up, because your brain is not used to the experience, and wants to stop the pain immediately. When I was still in underground fighting, I have learned that the more pain you are used to, the less you will be on the defense, the more you will be able to think straight. It is more frightening to face an opponent who is impervious to great pain and knows how to breathe normally during intense movement. But that is what serious training results in. The same goes for life's afflictions. The apostle Peter told us, Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange was happening to you. (1 Peter 4:12)
It is a natural inclination of any common man to ask God to cut an ailment short, and to ask for help to recover from sickness; but my days have taught me wisely, that bearing with pain and affliction, however inconvenient for a time, always results in higher resilience. Greater strength. Immovable trust.
Deeper faith.
I am able to sleep painfully, yet in peace, knowing what I have has been ordained with a nod by my sovereign God, and that He is using this to deepen my trust in Him. People expect so much benefit in asking God to give them a little cross. Little did Job knew that what befell him was a result of God's commendation of his faith before the greatest of angels. If God should make me lie down in green pastures, would I say no? If God should make me lie down in the bed of affliction, who am I then to say no?
We have experienced much affliction since we transferred to this place. I nearly cut my leg off, my son got hospitalized for tuberculosis meningitis and epilepsy, we all fell sick at times in between - but as the apostle Paul said, these things do not move me. I can declare in all humility, It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn the LORD's statutes. (Psalm 119:71)
It is instinctive for a person to react defensively against pain. When you are being pummeled, you raise your arms in defense to cover yourself up, because your brain is not used to the experience, and wants to stop the pain immediately. When I was still in underground fighting, I have learned that the more pain you are used to, the less you will be on the defense, the more you will be able to think straight. It is more frightening to face an opponent who is impervious to great pain and knows how to breathe normally during intense movement. But that is what serious training results in. The same goes for life's afflictions. The apostle Peter told us, Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange was happening to you. (1 Peter 4:12)
It is a natural inclination of any common man to ask God to cut an ailment short, and to ask for help to recover from sickness; but my days have taught me wisely, that bearing with pain and affliction, however inconvenient for a time, always results in higher resilience. Greater strength. Immovable trust.
Deeper faith.
I am able to sleep painfully, yet in peace, knowing what I have has been ordained with a nod by my sovereign God, and that He is using this to deepen my trust in Him. People expect so much benefit in asking God to give them a little cross. Little did Job knew that what befell him was a result of God's commendation of his faith before the greatest of angels. If God should make me lie down in green pastures, would I say no? If God should make me lie down in the bed of affliction, who am I then to say no?
Romans 5:3, 4 ..but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..
Does this, therefore, mean that I do not need nor welcome the prayers of the church in my affliction? I most definitely do! But I can only reconcile my embracing the heavy hand of God, against the prayers of the saints for my deliverance, in the thing that is asked on my behalf, and that is not to be spared from affliction, but that I may see what the LORD is teaching me in such times. For I am such a dumb ox, slow and stupid in my mind and in my flesh too many times to understand and absorb the goodness and wisdom of God even in these precious moments. Indeed, far too heavy are the times I have been afflicted and it has passed me quietly, that I come out of it well, yet having learned nothing, gaining no wisdom.
For such times, pray for me, I beseech you.
For such times, pray for me, I beseech you.
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