October Entry

From my journal entry. October 23, 2017. 4:18 AM.

Psalms 119:67, 71 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

However dreadful in my understanding, it would be far better for me to be a Job; bankrupt, bereaved, and stricken to the bones, than to be as his healthy friends who pointed forth the finger and rebuked him for grieving. The Lord gives strength not to the warriors, but to the weary. Incline thine ear unto me O God. Bow down thine ear and hear me, for I am poor and needy.

The self-satisfied do no want to pray.

The self-sufficient do not need to pray.

The self-righteous cannot pray.

~Ravenhill

Psalms 34:18-20, 22 The LORD is near unto them that are of a broken heart; and saves such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.

My whole purpose in life is not to preach or excel in ministry but to worship the LORD my God, who alone is worthy, with praise and adoration. My ministry is not unto people but unto Him who has redeemed me, all the days of my life. Not to say I should exile or seclude myself, but that with whatever activity I engage in, the prevailing song in my heart should be solely the coming of the kingdom and glory of the Lord Jesus Christ alone, and that all else comes second only.

It is noble but quite simple to ask, "May You increase, O Lord," but how well do we understand the latter part where we are to decrease? This part we do not really often mean, because the Lord's increase means our decrease. His coming to life in us means our death to self. It is where the kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies. It is where we are to be buried first in the dirt, before we are to live again. Christ's life means our very destruction.

I will dare say there are many in the ministry whom I see are completely void of the love the Lord. They are there firstly because on the surface it is what a good Christian should do, but on the side it feeds their sense of accomplishment. They do things mechanically, are well versed in memory, yet cannot move without letting the right hand know what their left hand is doing. Childish men who make it a game to reprimand or call others condescending names who differ in opinion and understanding, vain ministers whose right leg stands on the word of God and left leg knee deep in their egos, whose measure of piety is in the quantity of their work in the church or in the opinions of other men, but where are the real servants who minister unto the Lord? Where are those who tarry long into the night in the secret place? Is anyone jealous for the Lord's sake still? Does anyone weep for the sole reason that his name is blasphemed by the minute everyday, most specially by those who profess to be his?

And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes: In those days I Daniel was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled. ~the prophet Daniel

Quick to Go and preach the gospel to every creature on a whim, but will find it a nuisance to Tarry.. until ye be endued with power from on high. Should not our plea be instead,"What would you have me do Lord?" Everyone wants to Go and preach, yet is there still anyone left who wants to wait on the Lord? Every one wants to be where everybody is, but it is in the wilderness of solitude that God makes his men - not in seminaries. I am not looking down on these, but if your diploma or divinity doctorate is your only credential then truly you do not know the Lord. Seminaries may give diplomas, but it is God alone who anoints men. One can be known for being a great expositor or preacher, but when was the last time you met a man who is known for being a mighty man of prayer? God has great revenue in the infirmities of his saints, he does not go with men who can carry on in the strength of their own arm. He gives beauty for the ashes of broken men. We may strive much with our efforts, but it is not by our might nor by our strength but by the spirit of the living God alone. One proof of a regenerated heart is a regenerated prayer life. When God wants to use a person for himself, he makes him first of all a praying man.

I thought on my ways, I made haste and delayed not, I have not forgotten thy law. At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. Be merciful unto me according to thy word.

Let me not wander from thy commandments. Teach me thy statutes. Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. Make me to understand the way of thy precepts. Grant me thy law graciously. Give me understanding to keep thy law. Make me to go in the path of thy commandments. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies. Quicken thou me in thy righteousness. So shall I speak of thy testimonies before kings, and will not be ashamed.

All have strength, but only those who wait on the Lord shall be renewed. All run, but only those who wait on the Lord shall not be weary. All walk, but only those who wait upon the Lord shall not be faint. Seek the Lord, O my soul. Seek the Lord, O my heart, till he comes and rains righteousness upon the earth.