Finally

I find traveling boring. Sitting for hours just to get to a place is a big waste of precious time for me. It is one of the reason I disdain shooting schedules when I was supervising movies. The long hours waiting in between takes was just too much to throw away. It was very counterproductive. The only compensation I have from it all was I get to visit places I never would have gone to on my own.

For the three months we were holding evening bible classes five days a week, I was also struggling to meet my tight deadlines. It took a toll on me one afternoon when I felt a painful jab at the back of my head, and from that day on I can feel things weren't normal anymore. The family finally decided, that I should seriously lessen my load. It was non-negotiable. I was awake for 20 hours almost continuously for weeks. I had to hurtfully announce a break in our daily studies, to finish my current workload, and finally rest. At least that was the plan three weeks ago. 

My beloved daughter booked my wife and I to a trip up north. And up to the last hour, I honestly did not want to go, but I suppose this was one of those times you just have to deal with it. Two weeks after the trip was booked, I was secretly thankful for the rush I was feeling as we boarded the trike that would take us to the bus stop at 6PM, to meet up at our launch off at Quezon City, 10PM that evening.

I will skip the details of the "boring" trip, but the only thing that got me sitting still for 6 hours was the thought of taking the gospel to La Union.

We slept almost the whole day when we arrived, going out towards the end of the day to see the community and check out the beach scene. That night I spent time before the LORD to petition His hand on the task I had the next day. We woke up early to meditate by the sea, and just be awed with the magnificence of God's creation. The sight and sound all point to the praise of the Creator. A short quiet time, meditation, and we proceeded to work.

We took a ride to the San Juan Market and saw there were not much people inside, so instead we asked the police for permission to read the word by the tricycle terminal beside it. There was a lull in the pickup of passengers and that gave the drivers the opportunity to hear the gospel in its entirety. The group split into two: one group kept on watching whatever it was they were watching before we arrived, and the other group stood together to listen with their heads bowed. I can hear my wife talking behind me with some people. She was there to give away tracts, and to watch my back. I simply could not have done this without her encouraging presence.

I did not bring my equipment with me, and so I pleaded in the open air, the LORD providing the power and anointing in the message, and extending the reach of my voice. I was done by the time my voice started to break.

It was a blessing to lose myself in the moment. You just wish you can freeze time for once. I left my worries to the LORD (my work kept calling me with new problems even after I had submitted everything) and kept thanking and praising Him for His enduring goodness and mercy.

I woke up around 2AM that morning and meditated on the word out in the living room. My wife also woke up, and was immediately singing and praising God in the bedroom. We went back to sleep around 4AM.

I live each day anticipating that someday I would wake up without my wife by my side.  Just an empty pillow. That I had just buried her yesterday. It helps me slow down and breathe, and not to take her presence for granted. I try to treat her to the best that I know of, falling short however, so when she stands before the LORD she would praise God for the husband that I was to her. I told her if we weren't going to go together, then I would prefer she goes first and that I would be left to mourn. It would break me to know I would be leaving her alone and hurting in this fallen world. My chest starts to hurt when I think of it. But I can only imagine her face with the biggest smile she's ever had, finally seeing her loving Savior at last. Her smile then would be my smile when it is my time too. 

 

God is so good.