Bulacan Capitol Park

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth. Like a lamb led to the slaughter and like a sheep silent before her shearers, He did not open His mouth.
Isaiah 53:7

Currently, I am reading The Mute Christian Under the Smarting Rod Of God, by Thomas Brooks. Father has, in the past year, quieted my prayers into silence. The more I am awakened to abhorring my wretchedness, the more I am unable to say anything. What can I say to my God who has numbered my words? When words fail in despair, the only thing left is to be silent before the LORD. One puritan preacher rightfully puts it, the highest form of prayer is speechless. The LORD had shut up Hannah's womb and was barren. Such desperation drove her to grieve. She wept! Not only did she weep, but she wept till she was sore. She was in bitterness of soul. She was pouring her heart out to the LORD, but no word came out of her mouth. For her pleading God not only gave her request for a man child - He gave her far more. He gave her a prophet.

Oh to weep before the LORD for not weeping! To pray for the sin of not praying! Such travail of the soul is alien to the comfortable church who thinks amiss, that God would rather listen to much speech and verbal adulation! Music and worship songs from a stale heart that is pleased with its ministries! It has forgotten the way of a broken and a contrite heart, these are those which God will not despise. To throw all care, and men's carnal opinions of what Christian membership should be to the ground, and cling desperately to the great mercies of God instead.

Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word. It is good for me that I have been afflicted that I might learn your statutes. I know, O LORD, that thy judgements are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me. Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction. I will never forget thy precepts, for with them thou hast given me life.
Psalm 119. Teth, Jod, Lamed.

And so we question affliction as if God was unaware of it. Silence in the face of affliction is surrender to God's sovereign hand. To shun all help from man but that of God's alone. Sighs and groans from a broken heart please God more than a thousand empty worship songs. Why must I need be silent before God in the midst of affliction? So I may better hear his rod of correction. If it is there to awaken me. To separate me further from the world. Micah 6:9  The LORD'S voice crieth unto the city, and the man of wisdom shall see thy name: hear ye the rod, and who hath appointed it. What great blessing it is to be chastised by a loving Father. To kiss His rod of correction. To hear Him declare to me, I am the LORD.

"It may be you are under some present mental distemper, which disenables you to make a right judgment of the different dealings of God with yourself and others. When the mind is distempered, and the brain troubled, many things seem to be that are not; and then little things seem very great. Oh! The strange passions, the strange imaginations, the strange conclusions, that attend a distempered judgment!

When the mind is disturbed, men many times say they know not that,and do they know not what. It may be, when these clouds are blown over, and your mind cleared, and your judgment settled, you will be of another opinion.

Where the disease is strong, the remedy must be strong — else the cure will never be wrought. God is a wise physician, and he would never give strong medicine if a weaker one could effect the cure, Jer. 30:11, and 46:28; Isaiah 27:8. The more rusty the nail is, the oftener we put it into the fire to purify it; and the more crooked it is, the more blows and the harder blows we give to straighten it. You have been long a-gathering rust; and therefore, if God deal thus with you, you have no cause to complain. Though the cup be bitter—yet it is put into your hand by your Father! Though the cross be heavy—yet He who has laid it on your shoulders will bear the heaviest end of it Himself! Why, then, should you mutter?

It may be that the Lord sees that it is very needful that your afflictions should be greater than others. It may be your heart is harder than other men's hearts, and prouder and stouter than other men's hearts, it may be your heart is more impure than others, and more carnal than others, or else more selfish and more worldly than others, or else more deceitful and more hypocritical than others, or else more cold and careless than others, or more formal and lukewarm than others. Now, if this is your case, certainly God sees it very necessary, for the breaking of your hard heart, and the humbling of your proud heart, and the cleansing of your foul heart, and the spiritualizing of your carnal heart, etc., that your afflictions should be greater than others; and therefore -

Do not murmur."