No Comparison

From my journal entry, May 25, 2017, 9:05PM, Taal, Batangas 

For a while I looked at my director and saw his shoes, his signature pants, his watch, his shades, his new cap. He looked clean. Decent. Expensive. 

Then I walked out to the set. Everyone had decent shoes. Mine was 4 years old, so old all the labels have torn off. Everyone was busy with the task at hand. Everyone was friendly with everybody else. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I guess its safe to assume everybody was made up in their minds to see this day through. I just wanted to go back to the car and go home.

Ever since the Lord clearly impressed his love for me, everything else of worldly value in my eyes faded away. My love for big bikes. My love for doing what I do best at work. My love for doing leather work. My love for camaraderie and attention. My love for being myself. It has been said that the Lord's salvation comes at a high cost and exchange. But then I start to see that there really is no comparing the Lord to anything I have in life. There was no cost. Everything else was simply revealed to be what it really was: vanity.

There was an instant blanket of self-pity when I saw how good my director was dressed. Nothing extravagant really. I was just stupidly comparing myself to what he had in life at that moment. Everyone listens to him when he speaks on the set, at least that's what they're paid to do. On the set he is king. What he says matters. But then it stops there. No further.

Then I looked at myself. 

My family is patiently supporting me by going with me on the long drive and waiting in the car for me the entire day. My wife holds my hand while I drive. I hear my children laugh and it comforts me. They were given privilege to represent the highest authority in the universe by giving out tracts to a number of souls in the town plaza; their "voices" echoing to eternity far more than the director's can reach. 

I on the other hand, am privileged to be as common as the Lord I represent. Simple. Submissive. Silent. I do not have things, I have life. I do not have subjects to command, I have spirits subject to me. I do not speak words, I speak life. I do not make something that would have no value 5 years from now, I have work that is in every way precious in the eyes of the King of kings and Lord of lords. So there really was no comparison after all. He was poor, I am rich. He is lost, I am found. He works for himself, I work for a kingdom that will never fade away. Timeless and eternal. A place in the heavens prepared for me by the one who died for me.

:)