Mid Year Thoughts
From my journal entry, July 2, 2017. 9:14 PM.
It fails me too much to read the beginning account of Charles Finney's heresies this afternoon, and come evening, that of Howell Harris, to whom I am more likely to lean towards when it comes to recognizing complete and utter dependency on the Lord pertaining to the preaching of His divine oracles, than Mr. Whitefield who was an ordained minister.
But alas, I am still bound by this carnal means of living I call work, and yearn as I may, I can only agree to myself that God will not be obligated to wait for any compliance from me. Though I covet with all my heart, that I may somewhat partake of the work he would commence towards a revival of religion amongst the sleeping churches, in that whatever shape or form, he would be pleased to employ one weak and poor such as I am in his service.
I am terrified to confront my own lack, both in capacity and in zeal, but that my sufficiency rests in Christ alone. For what, according to Jonathan Edwards, have I contributed to the salvation he visited me with, except the sin that made it necessary? He must needs to make me able, as Elijah was without means to sustain himself before the long journey, that the angel of the Lord provided the venison, He must therefore provide for me both the Spirit and the Fire necessary for his work, for the glory is to be his and his alone, and I have no wish to proceed one step further in the arm of my flesh.
I see also the necessity of much oppression and persecution for the purging of my old man, in humbling and grounding me in the strength of my Christ, that none of these things may both move or elevate me, but that it would enable me to cast myself helplessly at the mercy of Him who hath called me.
It fails me too much to read the beginning account of Charles Finney's heresies this afternoon, and come evening, that of Howell Harris, to whom I am more likely to lean towards when it comes to recognizing complete and utter dependency on the Lord pertaining to the preaching of His divine oracles, than Mr. Whitefield who was an ordained minister.
But alas, I am still bound by this carnal means of living I call work, and yearn as I may, I can only agree to myself that God will not be obligated to wait for any compliance from me. Though I covet with all my heart, that I may somewhat partake of the work he would commence towards a revival of religion amongst the sleeping churches, in that whatever shape or form, he would be pleased to employ one weak and poor such as I am in his service.
I am terrified to confront my own lack, both in capacity and in zeal, but that my sufficiency rests in Christ alone. For what, according to Jonathan Edwards, have I contributed to the salvation he visited me with, except the sin that made it necessary? He must needs to make me able, as Elijah was without means to sustain himself before the long journey, that the angel of the Lord provided the venison, He must therefore provide for me both the Spirit and the Fire necessary for his work, for the glory is to be his and his alone, and I have no wish to proceed one step further in the arm of my flesh.
I see also the necessity of much oppression and persecution for the purging of my old man, in humbling and grounding me in the strength of my Christ, that none of these things may both move or elevate me, but that it would enable me to cast myself helplessly at the mercy of Him who hath called me.
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