This Last Sunday of July

I did not feel well this afternoon to go out and minister after yesterday, and I have made up quite a number of convenient excuses in my head why I should not go. It is only with a closer examination of the heart that this minute speck of “self” or dirt as I may call it, exists like the afternoon dust that quietly settles on any fabric, disguising itself as a “good" excuse. Yet duty calls, and obedience binds me to a most grievous thought that somehow, I am responsible for one particular soul tonight that God wanted to reach out to, even without me having any proof of it.

I fell on my face once again before the Lord of all mercies, pleading for the privilege to lift up Christ and only Christ, that his words be my words, and that he should not send me, if he himself will not go before me. His words echo deep, “Lo, I am with you always..” My own frailty as an unlearned bearer of the Gospel always getting the best of me, the enemy heckling me, “You're not a pastor, you are not ordained, you have no right, you will choke, you'll look like a fool, don't embarrass yourself.." never a time that I did not find myself at a loss at what to say, and just the same I rejoice in finding myself at that exact place each and every time, because then I know it is where I see the Lord's unfailing faithfulness, as he carries me over. I only need to make myself available for his use, and he does the rest, for his great name's sake.

The cross always is the central figure through which people, passing by, stop and stare. They listen. I assume they would not have done so if I were to just simply stand there by myself with a handful of tracts. The cross does not need me, it already speaks for itself; far better than any verse or sign  I can carry on a banner.

The Lord also taught me to intercede first and foremost for the people tonight. As any good soldier who does not simply wake up out of his tent and march out to warfare, the victory  I most need to win is first of all against my self, that the cross would slay me and do its own work in me. I need not concern myself whether there be any visible signs of conviction from the crowd, although it is for me, more than enough to see them stop dead in their tracks and stand there, cars parking on the side of the road rolling down their windows to watch, even to the farthest establishment I can see - they are listening to this fool for Christ.

One good sign that the Lord sent came not in the form of positive inquirers, but of mischievous hecklers, who parked just behind me. I later learned through the children, whom we have become friends with, that these fellows thought it would make for a good laugh if they were to pull my pants down from behind as I was preaching, but these children refused to do so, God being gracious for giving them sound judgement, rebuked the adults themselves, saying that is not a nice thing to do. I was surrounded by angels.

We had a small get together with the dear children, having been with them last week reporting the case of their 12-year old friend, the plan today was, being one of the children's birthday, we would treat them to a small spaghetti dinner. Sadly our celebrant was sick and was absent, and so we further grounded our bond with these children by spending some time with them. Each of them have their own story to tell that would simply break your heart.  May the Lord bless them with his saving grace.