Past The Shut Door

I see it necessary to write about the past year, without having to go into unsavory details, and look instead on the hand of God that wrought this wonderful work which I now look back to in awe and wonder.

When we started our family bible studies on the last week of February 2021 we were just 6 people including I. It ran 6 nights a week even while we were in our previous congregation, till we were found out and was questioned because it was unsanctioned. This slowly led me to believe my direction was different from the local church's. After long weeks of  praying and heart searching, I came to the conclusion: we needed to separate. But it had to be done the loving way. It was never in my mind to disturb the waters or seek attention, so I also sought the counsel of godly pastors who had nothing to do with the matter, and this made their judgment unbiased. Everyone of them had dealt with members leaving, and all of them still wanted to retain the Christ like love of fellowship for future prospects of possible returns. In the end they underlined one important detail: to continuously love those who were leaving. How else will we show others that we are Christ's disciples if not having love for one another? One advice stood out, "if the Lord is already calling you out it would be sinful to remain still." And so come August we informally asked to be taken out of our membership status and from having any say in matters of the leadership, asking instead to remain as weekly attendees sharing fellowship just like the many non-members with the clean intention of offering continuous help to the needs of the congregation, stating clearly that we still want to continue loving them, and keep fellowship with them as brethren in the Lord. We were denied. We only asked to be taken out of membership, and because of it we were accused of being the first to break fellowship.

To make a long unsavory story short, our petition was sentenced as rebellious. And Matthew 18:15-20 was used against us recklessly and out of context. Fellowship was forbidden. To this day I cannot see how politely asking to be taken out of membership can be viewed as sinful and rebellious, unless the leadership has already gone down the path of cultish dictatorship. This further reinforced what I have clearly seen the past months: it was detrimental for me to allow my family to remain here. We left. None of the senior pastors bothered to mediate or ask our side. Safe to assume they only heard one side of the story. And so by not answering, they have already given an answer. I would have expected more maturity from these men of God. But truth be told, maturity doesn't come with having a pulpit or seminary degree. Nor does anointing.

To give an answer before hearing a matter is a foolish thing and a cause of shame.

Proverbs 18:13 

I found myself in the lion's den, in the dark valley of  the shadows, in the belly of the great whale, with nowhere to look but up. I wanted to stop. Cease the study. Live a quiet life. I questioned my path, if I still was in the center of God's will. I struggled being faithful to the study, but the Lord came to me in one of my devotions, and with His word kept my head up out of the water, "It is I. Do not be afraid." John 6,20 "Feed my sheep." 

Feed the sheep indeed I did, but they in kind fed me as well with heaven sent words, great encouragements, and abiding love. God's faithfulness saw me through, and His strength took all the doubts away. I plowed the soil without seeing any direction. I simply followed the footprints of my Savior, expecting nothing. I just wanted to serve Him and His bride.

Enter One:16 Bible Church Taiwan.

"Write to this man." The impression came with such force one afternoon as I sat in the kitchen. This man referred to was a contact I had in my old Facebook account (which I closed 2 years ago). A name that I have had in my prayer list since 2017 but have never communicated with. He lives in Taiwan with his wife for some time now. And so I wrote, like a lost child sheepishly taking a doubtful peek behind a door. And there the LORD opened the flood gates of His answer to our prayer. This man replied. And all I can read from what he wrote was love, love, and still more love. Love filled the entire letter. Acceptance. Embrace. And these powerful words, "You must see what doors God has opened, and which doors He has shut." 

He invited me to reopen my closed account so we can communicate. We spoke. He introduced me to  his sheepfold which were all Filipinos save for some. And the rest I can confidently say, is eternity. A few nights ago I was humbled and honored to share God's wonderful promises with them in our very first introductory meet and fellowship.

19 heaven-born souls in attendance. From just 6. Not counting those who weren't able to attend. It will take a longer letter to write about the zeal and hunger the Taiwan church has for God. They are such beautiful and pure souls, raised by a faithful, trustworthy, and loving shepherd couple.

My dear father and pastor Blaine, and his dearly beloved wife Ingrid, were God's answer to our plea. Never have I seen such agape love radiantly displayed between shepherd and sheep in any church I have been in. Never. I have learned so much from them in just under a month than the four years I have spent shrinking away in our previous congregation.

In just under 15 months, right beside the streams of waters where God has planted us, the first leaf of God's faithfulness has blossomed into a beautiful tree. To this day, also I still have not revealed the real reason for my decision to leave our previous congregation, but that is not important now. Not in this lifetime or the next. God still continues to magnify His name before my very eyes. It was His hand that took me. It was He who added the souls. It was He who meant the evil for good. He ordained it. And He has caused this most weak servant to see His hand again ever so clearly! For His lowly servant's welfare, and the greater glory of His kingdom to come, and His will to be done.

Happy is the man who does not go in the company of sinners, or take his place in the way of evil-doers, or in the seat of those who do not give honour to the Lord. But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and whose mind is on his law day and night. He will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, which gives its fruit at the right time, whose leaves will ever be green; and he will do well in all his undertakings.
Psalm 1