Past The Shut Door

I see it necessary to write about the past year, without having to go into unsavory details, and look instead on the hand of God that wrought this wonderful work which I now look back to in awe and wonder.

My heart aches to recount this chapter of Divine Trial, but I must declare His faithful hand in it all.

When I commenced our family devotion—a private study which began in the last week of February, 2021—we were but six souls, myself included, meeting six evenings a week, even while we were in our previous congregation. Alas, we were discovered and grievously questioned, for the work was unsanctioned by the authority of man. This conviction slowly grew upon me: that the LORD's direction for my soul was diverging from that of the local assembly. After long weeks of fervent prayer and painful heart-searching, I came to the clear conclusion that we needed to separate.

Yet, it must be done in pure love! It was never my desire to disturb the waters or seek the vain attention of men. Therefore, I sought counsel from godly pastors who were wholly unacquainted with the matter, ensuring a judgment unbiased by local affection. Every one of these faithful shepherds had endured the sorrow of losing members, yet all insisted upon retaining the Christ-like love of fellowship for the sake of future reconciliation. They underlined one supreme detail: to continuously love those who were departing. For how else, they asked, shall we prove Christ's discipleship if not by love for one another?

One counsel stood as a spiritual command: "if the Lord is already calling you out it would be sinful to remain still."

And so, come August, I humbly sought to be removed from our membership status and from any voice in the leadership, asking only to remain as weekly attendees sharing fellowship, with the clean intention of offering continuous help in their need. I stated clearly my fixed resolve: to continue loving them and keep the sacred bond of brotherhood.

But alas, we were denied! For merely seeking to step out of the membership bond, I was cruelly accused of being the very first to break fellowship! Yet, my conscience is clear before God.

Ah, to bring this sorrowful and unsavory story to a close! My humble petition was, alas, sentenced as sheer rebellion! And what is more grievous, the sacred text of Matthew 18:15-20 was wielded against us with such reckless and uncharitable force, tearing it utterly from its true context! By this cruel decree, fellowship was forbidden entirely.

I cannot, to this day, see how politely asking to be removed from a roster could be judged as sinful, unless, as I must fear, the leadership has set their feet upon the detestable path of cultish dictatorship! This did but firmly reinforce the terrible sight I had seen for months: it was utterly detrimental to permit my family to remain there! And so, we left.

Not one of the senior pastors bothered to mediate or hear our side. By their cold silence, they had already given their answer. I had, in my simplicity, expected a greater measure of maturity from these men who hold the sacred office! But the solemn truth remains: Maturity does not attend the possession of a mere pulpit or a fleeting seminary degree; nor, I confess, does the genuine anointing of God.

To give an answer before hearing a matter is a foolish thing and a cause of shame.

Proverbs 18:13 

I found myself in the lion's den, in the dark valley of  the shadows, in the belly of the great whale, with nowhere to look but up. I wanted to stop. Cease the study. Live a quiet life. I questioned my path, if I still was in the center of God's will. I struggled being faithful to the study, but the Lord came to me in one of my devotions, and with His word kept my head up out of the water, "It is I. Do not be afraid." John 6,20 "Feed my sheep." 

Feed the sheep indeed I did, but they in kind fed me as well with heaven sent words, great encouragements, and abiding love. God's faithfulness saw me through, and His strength took all the doubts away. I plowed the soil without seeing any direction. I simply followed the footprints of my Savior, expecting nothing. I just wanted to serve Him and His bride.

Enter One:16 Bible Church Taiwan.

The thought of writing to this man came with such force one afternoon as I sat in the kitchen. This man referred to was a contact I had in my old Facebook account (which I closed 2 years ago). A name that I have had in my prayer list since 2017 but have never communicated with. He lives in Taiwan with his wife for some time now. And so I wrote, like a lost child sheepishly taking a doubtful peek behind a door. And there the LORD opened the flood gates of His answer to our prayer. This man replied. And all I can read from what he wrote was love, love, and still more love. Love filled the entire letter. Acceptance. Embrace. And these words, "You must see what doors God has opened, and which doors He has shut." 

He invited me to reopen my closed account so we can communicate. We spoke. He introduced me to  his sheepfold which were all Filipinos save for some. And the rest I can confidently say, is eternity. A few nights ago I was humbled and honored to share God's wonderful promises with them in our very first introductory meet and fellowship.

19 heaven-born souls in attendance. From just 6. Not counting those who weren't able to attend. It will take a longer letter to write about the zeal and hunger the Taiwan church has for God. They are such beautiful and pure souls, raised by a faithful, trustworthy, and loving shepherd couple.

My dear father and pastor Blaine, and his dearly beloved wife Ingrid, were God's answer to our plea. Never have I seen such agape love radiantly displayed between shepherd and sheep in any church I have been in. Never. I have learned so much from them in just under a month than the four years I have spent shrinking away in our previous congregation.

In just under 15 months, right beside the streams of waters where God has planted us, the first leaf of God's faithfulness has blossomed into a beautiful tree. To this day, also I still have not revealed the real reason for my decision to leave our previous congregation, but that is not important now. Not in this lifetime or the next. God still continues to magnify His name before my very eyes. It was His hand that took me. It was He who added the souls. It was He who meant the evil for good. He ordained it. And He has caused this most weak servant to see His hand again ever so clearly! For His lowly servant's welfare, and the greater glory of His kingdom to come, and His will to be done.

Happy is the man who does not go in the company of sinners, or take his place in the way of evil-doers, or in the seat of those who do not give honour to the Lord. But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and whose mind is on his law day and night. He will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, which gives its fruit at the right time, whose leaves will ever be green; and he will do well in all his undertakings.
Psalm 1